大時大節身痕事件

嬲一個人，頭三日會黑口黑面對佢，會真係出力去嬲。三日之後放佢係ignore list，從此以對付the ignored 0既語氣態度對佢。好耐好耐之後有一日, 你見到佢打0黎，例牌扮唔見炸唔知，但係忽然諗起，「咦，我唔記得左嬲佢咩喎。」就係咁，諗極都諗唔到之下，你決定放下成見，由ignore list到抽番佢出0黎，諗住同佢從修舊好舊情復熾。想打比佢，又怕佢唔覆你唔知點好。阿姐0既立場係，「我做左野就no regret on my side」，我小家小氣就諗「如果我講最後一句，佢唔應我我就係比人ignore0個個」。最後左度右度屎忽痕0既你當然都係搵左啦，然後咪好無癮咁發現佢真係一條粉腸that's why你當初嬲佢／佢當你係粉腸因為你無啦啦嬲左佢357年宜家仲夠膽番黎死狗。 姊妹們，大時大節係好易想起故人三數個，但係請緊記氣聚丹田臨崖勒馬，否則鑄成大錯後悔莫及，呀，共勉之啦。

雜碎

1. 「搵日食飯」=今日我唔好彩你放過我啦 2. 如果你無o係icq見過我=我唔想見到你 3. 如果我從來唔覆你email即係我已經block左你 4. 我唔係唔鍾意你，但係我唔想花時間o係你身上 5. 如何用言語表達'I wanna keep in touch but dun wanna meet' 6. 如何用言語表達'I dun wanna have you but I dun think anybody should' 7. 除左黑同白係有灰架大佬flexible d啦唔該 8. flexible唔係老屎忽 9. 係咁講粗口同唔講粗口係咪都算有病? 10. 如果我除左錢之外乜都有但係我仲想要錢咁算唔算貪心?

另

因租約期滿, be-m.com將於27/12/04（星期一）正式關門大吉。多謝各位街坊支持，後會暫時無期。 Franceking因為免費將維持正常有限度服務，多謝合作。

電影簡報

1. BJ2 無需要reconfirm「續集無咁好睇」或Renee Zellweger太肥或同原著相差太遠，只想講關於Mr. Perfect。你一心要找／抓一個Mr. Perfect，俾你搵到，又嫌自己唔夠perfect，有壓力，多規範，唔甩唔順，番轉頭去搵Mr. Imperfect，你又覺佢真真太唔perfect，行來行去，滕左滕右，原來原地踏步。 咁究竟你要perfect定perfect0即女人?! (拿，唔好同我講Mr. Right就係Mr. Right呀，我唔信架) 2. Ocean Twelve 真係無意reconfirm「續集無咁好睇」，但係Julia Roberts plays Julia Roberts係好王晶囉C'mon。完場round up所有疑團已經解開，好千王之王好80s。注意力中心修窄為寶刀未老Brad Pitt(applaud for the gigolo outfit)及從未仰慕但認真?命真女人Catherine Zeta Jones一大個。佐治同Mrs. Moder無疑係壁人一對可惜已經甩色。唔算B級片架，B+啦。 3. 功夫 一邊睇一邊想像見到星仔摸住佢個頭殼頂講句：傻豬黎0既，過去已經過去架啦，你好耐無俾人蝦啦，都已經玩殘無數條女同將自己變左Superman/Neo個friend囉，唔駛再為自己無辦法拯救地球／做個好人／出人頭地耿耿於懷喎。你係，你係好迷茫過，好多掙扎，好多無奈時刻，不過你老早唔係咁啦(同埋你拍過好多次啦)呢0的性格缺陷童年陰影搵個shrink同你個個禮拜講幾粒鐘搞掂啦，何必駛咁多錢拍套戲0即？拍完你都係放唔開架，真係傻豬。 Well，以上純粹係我同導演0既心靈交流，齋睇套戲我係覺得：(1)重新愛上華哥！佢應該keep住呢個頭; (2）來來去去都係古惑的槍0個0的gag但係我都笑(同淨係笑0個0的); (3)場景非常精緻，真假難分，好似睇麥家碧畫油麻地咁；(3)好多血，直迫kill bill；(4)多個場口令人諗起Matrix或house of the dead，視乎閤下玩開邊隻game;(5)點解要無黎拉肺整場shinning呢？(6)套戲根本無女主角，煲乜春水新聞？有云星爺係港被Jim Carrey，我都希望佢可以好似占爺咁順利過到樽頸位。不過我深信心病還需心藥醫，佢一日唔解開個心結，一日都係諗來諗去三覆被，盞激死佢自己。仲有，雖然星爺已經搞到自己非常咁有型，可惜都唔會令譚玉英姐姐鍾意佢，可憐浪子多痴情，呀！ 4. Before Sunset 經阿姐日日夜夜宜宜吟吟鬧來鬧去，我自覺有責任吹兩句。撇除佢所講0既無巴黎無日落無地點無時間，我最痛心當然係無左0個份令人回味再回味0既spontaneity。阿水話我:係戲都計架啦矇婆，你以為上集無計靠佢兩個即場棟篤笑呀?!　係，我知我死蠢，但係上次佢扼到我今次扼唔到喎。點解呢？點解Jessy一開場要做兩分鐘「上回講到」? 點解Celine要咁cliche講綠色和平又要咁cliche咁喜怒無常? 點解Jessy兩粒鐘都無output? 點解等左兩粒鐘等到上樓梯位搞氣氛又唔俾時間沉澱? 如果個女人唔係Julie Deply，實在難以說服雙眼全程集中係螢幕上。雖然一開波見到'Warners Independent Pictures'都打哂底，但係好多0野都仲係估唔到。例如Ethan Hawke令人痛心地變左個阿伯(我永遠永遠唔會mean佢，因為佢係我除左林海峰之外唯一0既idol, but look at him!)。或者Before Sunset只係千千萬萬套「型人之選」0既其中之一。你睇左，你好型，同隔離順嫂一樣。One wanna be as unique as the one next to him. (係時時都怕講野得罪人，但眼見每日得廿幾隻人仔睇怕仲係全部熟人，無謂扮驚。)

p.s.

You read the whole thing again and smile, 'at least I can still make fun of myself.'

A Friday Night Situation

It's friday night, you have no plans, going home with no one. You bought a pack of cigarette with full heart of guilt and a cheap magazine you know you'll never gonna read. You are there again, your home, no one's there, not even a cat. You call everyone on the list, but of course your friends are all working overtime/ out of town/ having dinner with their another half. Under this circumstance you think it's pathetic enough to make an emergency call to pizza hut. Unfortunately, not quite as you've expected, you finish it all. You have the marathon Sex and the City screening or the Nth time replay of BJ thinking someone's out there knows what it feels like. In the middle of the TV you got sick because you simply eat too much pizza and drink too much beer. Here you are, in the loo, knowing that you have no friends, no one to hug and probably die alone in 50 years. You feel so fucking sorry for yourself it's like watching a Hollywood B flick that actually makes you cry. At that very moment you decide to leave the pretentious you behind and tell everyone about your pathetic life. Tonight, you have another pizza and you realize, a friday night situation does not necessarily happen on a friday night.

當我知道你們相愛

〔1997年〕 那個悶熱的夏天我們每天都黏在一起。在茶餐廳吃香蕉船，踢拖鞋吃街邊糖水，在一間叫相聚一刻的餐廳消磨。我十分快樂，感到前所未有的自由，我覺得自己站在整個世界的最前面。就在夏天完結前幾天，自以為是的我以為只有我看出他和她之間乎之欲出的變化。開始時還故作不在乎的不問不說，最後還不是如常的打爛沙盤。他拖著她的手點頭默認，我高興得跳上跳下激動不已，忍不住向世界宣佈。然後世界告訴我，世界一早知道，不知道的是我。一點點被騙的憤怒被好朋友和好朋友一起的快樂完全掩蓋。 當然，兩個月後他們分手時我也想，早知如此，當初何必騙我？ 〔2001年〕 我指著桌上的照片問他：這是誰？「朋友。」他答。於是我相信。我真心相信我甚至以為他帶我吃晚飯看星星是因為喜歡我。直至看見他大腿上她的小腿我才會得說'oh shit'。 〔2004年〕 聽說他中一的時候反叛得不得了，氣得老師忍不住在堂上將他就地正法。可是我從沒見過。我認識的他不過是甜甜的一個男生。圓圓的臉像蘋果，不愛說話，一雙大眼睛卻向我眨呀眨。今天他身邊的男生酸溜溜的跟我告狀，「佢掛住拍拖，宜家唔理我啦。」有意無意推他一下。我雙眼放光，「是嗎！？」他看著我，甜絲絲甜絲絲還是不發一言。我知道那女生，黝黑的十分聰明，會說話也會動腦筋。她看上他什麼？他又看上她什麼？他們是怎樣開始的？他們拖手了嗎？在何地？還有誰知道他們在一起？她快樂嗎？他，又快樂嗎？他四歲的妹妹有什麼看法？他們會一生一世嗎？ 想著十四歲的戀愛，我也回到十四歲。

(You think) You are Fabulous when...

1. you feel 2' taller wearing sneakers; 2. you think everyone on the street is looking at you and that cute guy at the corner has a secret crush on you; 3. you think you 'dress down' in a cool way when you wear pajamas to work; 4. you tell people 'you can be fabulous too' (maybe you are a bitch too); 5. you think everyone walks by is trying to smell your hair; 6. you look at your big bottom and think it's sexy/ your flat chest and think they are trendy; 7. you look at girls at 100lb and thinking 'it's sick'; 8. you tell your friends 'I'm gonna look fabulous tonight so be prepared.' (yes you are a bitch); 9. you dun mind going to anything anytime that give you a chance to show off the fabulous you; 10. you look at the mirron at 7 in the morning thinking 'I'm fabulous.'

預演

從收音機裡聽到林夕說起黃霑一句「無事常見面」，淚盈於眶。我們已到了那個年紀，要看著代表我們這年代的人逐一離去。我抑住淚，因為我知道我必須學懂面對。因為有天你忽然發現媽媽老了，另一天起來，她可能已經消失。就在你努力工作的時候，在你追趕公車的時候，在你我談天說地的時候，她在另一邊廂一分一秒的溜走，連她自己都不知道。直到一天再看不見她在家裡發呆，不再聽到她自言自語。那個原本由她為你創造出來的世界，現在只剩下一條線，你站在上面，恨不得立刻倒下來。你將永遠不會停止憤怒，自責，內疚，你不明白，你以為事出突然。你把手伸進那叫「心房」的地方，讓血沿手心一直流下來，直到永遠。